I guess one of the hardest things about the surrogacy process is the waiting. Being on the other side of the world and feeling helpless. Not being able to do anything but wait. Then, of course, all the questions and doubts come up. Am I doing the right thing? Can I be a good father? Did I choose the right egg? You seem to be waiting for everything. Waiting to go and deposit, waiting to hear when the eggs will be shipped, waiting for the fertilization, waiting for the embryo transfer, waiting 15 days to see if she’s pregnant…waiting, waiting, and more waiting. Going through it alone does help. Not having someone there to tell you that it’s going to be ok, to take your doubts and abolish them. Needless to say that the time spent waiting, is filled with many sleepless nights, your head doesn’t stop thinking and questioning every step and every possible outcome. Talking to people that aren’t going through it doesn’t really help. They all say the same thing, that I need to relax and that everything will happen when it’s meant to.
But I want to tell you something if you have started this process and have done all the research and reading and planning, you are doing the right thing. You will be a good parent. I’m not going to tell you to be patient and to relax because the waiting fucking sucks. Knowing that it’s all out of your hands and there is nothing you can do, fucking sucks. But I will tell you that it’s only a period of your life and to hang in there because inevitably it will pass. Everyone has doubts; everyone questions their decisions. But at the end of the day, and I don’t want to say what everyone says, but really, let it all go and trust in God. Things work in mysterious ways, and yes many things are out of our hands.