The Dad Diaries

From Stoned Swimmers to Super Sperm

From Stoned Swimmers to Super Sperm: My Unexpected Fertility Journey

Here’s something I hadn’t mentioned yet about my surrogacy journey – it involves a rather unexpected twist involving a cup, a hospital in Bahrain, and my lifestyle choices. Before I signed the contract and set the date to head off to Kenya, a thought struck me: I’m pretty healthy, right? I eat well, hit the gym regularly, and take my vitamins. But then it dawned on me – as a gay man, I’d never had to think about the quality of my semen. After all, no one around me was trying to get pregnant. So, off I went to a Bahraini hospital for a semen analysis, naively unaware of the surprise that awaited me.

Let’s rewind a bit here. I do have a vice – smoking. After a long, stressful day, I find solace in smoking a joint. It’s my equivalent of a glass of wine to unwind. So, without a second thought and in my usual routine, I smoked the night before the big test.

The next day, I provided a sample – you know, the typical ‘cum in a cup’ scenario – and waited for the results. When they came back, I was floored. My swimmers were, for lack of a better term, stoned! The motility was a meagre 5%, far below the average man’s progressive motility of 32% or more. In a panic, I sent my results to the doctor. His response? “It’s low, but with In-vitro fertilization (IVF), you don’t need to worry too much.” But no way was I just going to stand by and accept that.

Springing into Action

I sprang into action immediately, ditching the smoking and doubling down at the gym. My diet underwent a radical overhaul – I started devouring pomegranates, asparagus, bananas, eggs, spinach, dark chocolate, and oysters – basically, anything and everything that boasted high zinc content. My supplement game got a serious upgrade too – I added L-arginine, essential fatty acids, chromium, selenium, copper, vitamin E, C, and a range of B-complex vitamins to my daily regime.

I even got creative with my morning routine, whipping up fruit and veggie shakes laced with MACA root and pure cocoa for an extra arginine kick. My quest for sperm superpowers led me to an Ayurvedic clinic where I was prescribed Vajitone and Kapikachhu. Mixing these with hot almond milk (a taste akin to dirt, if I’m honest) became my daily challenge – it was a battle against my gag reflex!

A Little About Sperm

Did you know it takes about 72 days for a sperm cell to mature fully? Fast forward two months, and there I was again, testing my ‘boys.’ The results? A staggering mobility increase to 62%, way above average. The doctor was so astonished he half-joked about me being a hazard around women. My swimmers had made a comeback!

Oh, and a little heads-up for anyone embarking on this journey – you’re advised not to masturbate for four days before depositing your sample. Why? It takes about that long for the best swimmers to get ready. Let me tell you, being told not to do something only makes it a hundred times more challenging! But hey, all in the name of fatherhood, right?





Joseph Tito is a dynamic and influential content creator and social media influencer. Known for his engaging and informative videos on a wide range of topics, including surrogacy, parenting, and personal development, Joseph has amassed a large following on platforms like YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok. He is a trusted source of information and entertainment for his audience, and his dedication to creating high-quality content has made him a leading figure in the influencer community.




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