“Holy Shit! I’m going to be a Dad!
I don’t even know where to begin. When people say lost for words, I never truly understood it until now. Friday, April 19, 2018, I get up hungover (yes I’m not proud of it!), and make my morning coffee, I hop on Facebook to play my mindless games. As the years go by I find myself wasting a lot of time on meaningless things, an hour playing “Go Crash Saga” Which is one of the many reasons I wanted to become a father.
Why did I want to become a father? I’ve always lived my life doing what I loved. I traveled the world, working and falling in love in many countries. I flew where I wanted, stayed in the best hotels ate in the homes of Michelin Star Chefs. I made films and tv shows, sold them worldwide. I have lived. I’m pretty happy with what I’ve accomplished. But at the end of the day, I would lay in bed knowing with all my heart that there was something more to life then what I had. More than making money, getting high, 18-hour flights and weekends in Dubai.
A family. A child.
A lot of my gay friends don’t understand this need I have to be a father. My best friend, Jeff says, I’m a great ga-uncle, but that’s it! He enjoy’s the freedom of not having a child, the disposable income, the locking the door behind you and going to PV in February with nothing but a speedo. I don’t know, I feel I am ready for fatherhood, I’m ready to have a weekend at home watching my baby crawl for the first time. It’s the next natural step. Right?
I know that it’s not going to be easy. I know that I will make mistakes. I know there will be times when I’ll ask myself what the hell was I thinking! But I also know that I will be the best dad that I can be, and no matter what I will protect and love this child more than I can even begin to express. I will watch him/her grow, laugh, fall, make mistakes, and I will be there, every step of the way.
I’m looking forward to caring for someone, making breakfast, ballet, soccer, baby swimming. Night time routines; bath time, bottle time, story time, cuddle time, falling asleep on my chest knowing that everything will be okay…
Email notification – “LabResults_Ms_T……….”.
Puzzled and entirely not thinking about the last painful year of my life I opened it.
“First test results. Positive. Congrats.”
Five words that completing changed my life forever.
I can’t really describe what I felt and still feel. It’s a feeling I’ve never had before. Needless to say, I was instantly sober, my headache disappeared and all the life problems that I’m sure we all have, just vanished. How can anything be a problem when you know that on the other side of the world, in the little Muslim sea village of Mombasa a part of me is growing. A little small embryo, now the size of a sesame seed, will soon be in my arms. My life is no longer about working 18 hours a day, on trying to build my career, on making as much money as I can, on being stressed about more and more and more.
Stop.
Breath.
Holy Shit! I’m going to be a DAD!!!
Congratulations. You have managed to jump off of the Hamster wheel and found out what truly matters in your life. We are all different, with different needs and dreams and I am happy you are following your passion regardless of what everybody else might be saying. Some things don’t need to be understood by others but answered by you. I have has a job too that earned great money. It was nice not having to turn every penny, yet it demanded much of my time with no free time to enjoy my life. I lived comfortably from a financial standpoint but got chronically sick as well. Today less is more and I invest on adventures and experiences. Like you I’m not afraid to go against the grain of society and as you know it often takes courage to do so.
Thank you for the follow and congratulations on all you have achieved so far. Holy shit you are going to be a Dad. ❤️
Thank you so much for this amazing comment. And I hope you are taking care of yourself. You are right, Less is more, and I’m excited to start this journey.
You are bee welcome. Keep going and keep sharing your journey. Others need to hear it.
Congratulations that’s fantastic news! So happy for you kiddo! If you need any tips then drop me a line! Love n hugs as always xx
Thank you, Fish. It means a lot and I will for sure need tips!! A big kiss to you and your girls.
You are so cool! I do not think I’ve read through a single thing like this before. So good to discover somebody with some genuine thoughts on this subject matter. Really. Thank you for starting this up.
Aw, this was a really nice post.
I wanted to thank you for this good read!! I absolutely enjoyed every bit of it. And Congrats!!
Having read this I thought it was rather informative.
I appreciate you taking the time and effort to put this informative article together.
I truly love your blog.
Thank you.
Congratulations my dia…this brought tears of happiness in my eyes hopefully one i will be like you…
Thank you. Hopefully one day you will also be a dad. 😊
I love your blog. Its very well written; I love what you’ve got to say.
Hello I am so thrilled I found your site, I really found you by error, while I was looking for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say cheers for a
marvellous blog and a all round exciting journey.
Thanks for sharing your this and CONGRATS!!! I can’t wait for your next post.
Hello there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it’s really informative. I will be grateful if you continue this in future. A lot of people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!
Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an incredibly long comment
but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up.
Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyways,
just wanted to say wonderful blog!
I couldn’t resist commenting. Exceptionally well written!
Hey! Someone in my Facebook group shared this site with us so I came to take a look.
I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m book-marking and will
be tweeting this to my followers! Superb blog and brilliant design and style.
Thank you Kieran.
Very shortly this web page will be famous amid all blogging users, due to it’s good posts.
LOL. Thank you, but there are many great blogs out there. (:
This is really fascinating, You’re an excessively professional blogger.
I have joined your rss feed and stay up for searching for
more of your magnificent post. Also, I’ve shared your site in my social networks
Thank you.
Good day I am so excited I found your blog, I really found you by mistake. Nonetheless I am
here now and would just like to say thank you for a tremendous post and an all round interesting blog.
Please do keep up the fantastic work.
Awwww… Thank you.
My brother recommended I might like this web site. He was entirely right.
This post actually made my day. Thanks!
Thank you and your brother. (:
I am so happy for you!
Thank you!
Hello. Great job. I did not expect this. This is a impressive story. Thanks!
What were you expecting? lol. Thank you.
I am really pleased to glance at this blog posts which carries plenty of helpful
facts, thanks for providing these kinds of information.
Thank you.
Alex and I are so excited for you! We have been together for 8+ years and married for almost 2. We have just embarked on our journey of building a family and we’d love to have twins as well. Your posts and videos have been a true blessing for us since this research/planning stage has been quite daunting here (can’t imagine once its started). Thank you for sharing such a personal and emotional experience . You’ve given us courage to pursue this journey.
We wish that your blessings, Stella and Mia, have a safe and easy delivery Inshalla.
Sending big hugs and prayers from New York City!
It’s stories like this that makes sharing this experience so worth it. Thank you for your message, it really means a lot to me. I wish guys the best of luck and if I can help in any way, I’m always here. Inshallah everything will work out. (:
whoah this blog is excellent i love reading your posts.
Keep up the great work! You recognize, a lot of people are searching round for this info,
you could help them greatly.
Thank you. (: