My Journey to Fatherhood

“the contract

“the contract

So a couple of months of contemplating and talking to people with very mixed feelings, I decided to ask for the contract. I’m very used to business contracts and the majority of them you give no thought to, you give it to your lawyer and make sure to dot your i’s and cross your t’s. But as I read this contract, my heart began to race. Besides the services offered and cost breakdown which I already knew.

Services Offered:
– 4 IVF cycles with Caucasian/Kenyan Oocyte donor including Embryo Freezing for donor, with multiple embryo transfers each cycle.
– Psychological-Social-Physical Screening, Travel, Stay, Food, all Medications, other expenses & Compensation for the Donor and Surrogate.
– Blood work, Semen Analysis for the male partner
– ICSI, Blastocyst transfer and Assisted Hatching – if required
– Double and Triple testing to rule out Chromosomal disorders and Neural tube defects
– Delivery/Caesarean Section for the surrogate.
– Doctor’s fees for 9 months until delivery.
– Arranging the Surrogacy Agreement between all parties concerned.
– Guidance and legal help with obtaining of Passport and Exit-Visa for the newborn. We shall assist with this if required at no additional cost.

Payment terms – total cost 45,000 US $
12 A. $20,000 US in Advance
12 B. $5,000 US at 12 Weeks of Pregnancy
12 C. $5,000 US at 18 Weeks of Pregnancy
12 D. $5,000 US at 24 Weeks of Pregnancy
12 E. $5,000 US at 30 Weeks of Pregnancy
12 F. $5,000 US at birth

What really freaked me out was section 6: Maintenance of Pregnancy,

6.4.2 Undergo a selective fetal reduction upon the on-going development of more than two Embryos.

6.4.3 Upon knowledge of a Genetic or Congenital abnormality including but not limited to Down Syndrome, Klinefelter Syndrome within 20 weeks of Pregnancy which is incompatible with life or good quality of life and after obtaining the consent of the Genetic Father and Intended Mother. Surrogate shall not refuse a therapeutic abortion or a selective fetal reduction on religious or moral grounds and doing so will construe a breach on the part of the Surrogate mother.

First of all, since they implant the Surrogate with three embryos, there could be a chance of triplets. Don’t get me wrong; I’m a single man and the thought of triplets well, there is no thought of triplets! But an embryo reduction? I don’t know if I agree with that. Isn’t that killing a heartbeat? My heartbeat? I know the extreme complications of having triplets, but to kill one. Not only is it morally questioning but it also is dangerous for the other embryos. Then there is 6.4.3, you spend so much time on this emotional rollercoaster and clearly if you are going through surrogacy you want to have a child, to then decide at 20 weeks whether to abort or not, well that is a tough decision. One that I pray to God I will never have to face.

So here I was at MIPCOM in Cannes, running from meeting to meeting trying to sell my shows in-between going through a contract that would change my life forever. I remember my Dad calling me every single day asking if I had my lawyer read through the contract. Yes, she has read it. “Did you sign it?” Yes, dad, I will sign it. My dad surprised me with this whole experience. He comes for an old-school Italian way of thinking, and I thought he would have a problem with this decision, but instead, he has been my rock, and I continue to thank God I have this support in my life. Because going through this alone without a partner has been hard enough. So I signed the contract and sent my first 10 thousand US. I should have sent 20, but I asked if I could send the other 10 after I was back from depositing in Kenya. They were okay with it.



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